I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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