She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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