I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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