Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
