My sheets look like a crime scene.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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