I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize