Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
