he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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