I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
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she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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