Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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