isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
