Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
