Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
