I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
