well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
