zippers are such a cool invention
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
