She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
