he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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