yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
