worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
