My nipple is on Facebook.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
