I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
