I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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