You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we made out on top of his cat.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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