I want to make a zoo with you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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