just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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