I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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