i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
