so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
