lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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