We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
