i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
