Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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