if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize