you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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