i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
