dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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