basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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