Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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