I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
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I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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