My hand turned me down
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
