he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
