please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
