I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
