Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize