worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
