Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
