I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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