Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
