fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
40s are totally the cure
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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