help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
