Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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