How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
