Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize