oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
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I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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