you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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