how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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