Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
