Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
