when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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