just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
