Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
