How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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