College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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