Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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