fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
