I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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