her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
