I'm drive I can fine osifer
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
