he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
